By Lauren Slattery

The question “What do you want to do with your life?” has been asked so many times I’m starting to hear it in my dreams. Those nine, little words seem to have a choke hold on me that I cannot seem to get out of. Whenever I’m asked what I see myself doing after college it’s almost as if I float out of my body. I laugh as I watch myself attempt to answer a seemingly simple question. Though in reality, the problem is not what I want to do, but how I can achieve it all.

Everyone around me seems to have an answer. It’s like they all have a dream job or a dream life they hope to achieve one day. I start to convince myself that everyone else has it all figured out, and I am the only one who doesn’t, but I know that’s not true. So many of us hope that one day a certain career will suddenly feel like the right fit. 

One friend of mine is on her way to becoming the coolest elementary school art teacher the world has ever seen. Another recently told me that chemistry is their passion, and I can’t make that up. I envy them for having something that makes them look forward to graduating college; they have “a thing.” 

If thirteen year old me could have chosen what my life after college would look like I think it would have looked a lot like my older sister’s. I would have met the love of my life in high school. We would have gone to separate colleges, but after graduation we would move back to Charlotte, so I could be close to my family. From there, we would start our life together. I would start a job and put my degree to use. Probably something that puts me in an office, but I would be happy.

A part of me wants to drop out of college and start traveling now. Hop in my car and pick a state. I would find a seasonal job and go on adventures on my days off. It doesn’t matter what job, it just matters where I am and who I’m with. Life wouldn’t be about working, but I would still love every job I had because it let me be wherever I was at that moment. 

In one life, I am twenty in New York. My favorite local coffee shop knows my order and my name. I walk to work every day. Work doesn’t feel like a job, but a privilege. After a summer internship, I was offered a full time job at a magazine, and writing is coming easy to me because life is exciting and new. When the day is over I feel fulfilled and giddy because this is the life I had always dreamed about. I go to bed looking forward to tomorrow.