“It will be okay. You have no choice”
By Leah Tran
Photo by Katie McNeil
“You will be okay. You have no choice.”
This quote had floated around online–from the depths of a Tumblr repost thread to the video analysis on ‘Ominous Positivity’ that I would inevitably watch.
When I first read this quote, it immediately struck a part of me that I was spending some time basking in. The part of me that felt as dead as winter. I mean–I was lying in my bed, under the weight of three blankets, waiting for the day to pass by because I just felt like utter sh*t. There’s no other way to say it. It’s routine for me that every winter I get a little more depressed, tired, and more prone to my anxious pattern of thinking.
Right before winter break, it seemed like it hit me the hardest. A lot of personal issues arose all the while I was struggling to write my four final papers, my two biggest presentations, and an exam I couldn’t care less about. How could I focus on any of these things when I was re-triggered again and struggling with my C-PTSD? How could I focus on any of it if I was feeling at a loss about a connection I made that I hoped would work out–but didn’t? How could I focus on any of it when it was so physically draining to just get out of bed when the sun setting at 5 pm tells me I should just be sleeping?
Oddly enough, it was all of the academic pressure that seemed to push me through it. I told myself that I had no choice but to complete these things and get to the end of the semester. So I did.
Whether I realized it or not–it would only be a week after finals were over that I wouldn’t feel as dead. With no longer the stressors of school, I had an abundance of time to rest, see my friends and family, dive back into hobbies I had set back, and take many (many!) nature walks. I felt more energized, hopeful, and content.
And after seeing this quote, I realized that on some level I would be okay. And even if it was the academic pressure that forced me to just continue forward, I did have no say in whether or not I would be okay. Because I would inevitably be okay.
That’s ominous positivity. The belief that you are okay is something that WILL happen–like fate.
One could make the argument that this is just toxic positivity. But toxic positivity tends to ignore the present negative state you are in and dismisses it. I think ominous positivity acknowledges where you are and assures you that circumstances will change–often for the better.
If we even expand this view and look at history, whether it's our own lives or the entirety of humanity, time and time again after every tragedy, things settle and get better. Just as we will inevitably suffer, we will also thrive. Things will feel like they might stay the same forever, but it won’t. It won’t always be like this.
So whether you are in a good or bad place in life right now, know that life is ever-changing. You won’t be the same person and your circumstances will change–whether it is tomorrow or in a year.
You will be okay. You have no choice.
