By Chandler Lamm

Valentine’s Day has never been a favorite holiday of mine. At least, it wasn’t when I was in a relationship. The grand gestures, the rushed plans, and the feeling that everything was being done “by the book” left me rolling my eyes more often than not. The day felt like a performance, and my own unrealistic expectations rarely aligned with what I thought love was supposed to feel like. However, when I became single last year for the first time in five years, my mentality changed. Dipping strawberries in chocolate and making heart-shaped pizzas with my best friends rewired the way I viewed the holiday, shifting my perspective in a way I never expected. The most love I’d ever felt on a day meant to celebrate just that was when I spent it surrounded by those who had been by my side through every celebration and every heartbreak. I realized through a holiday I once resented that my female friendships are some of the greatest love stories I’ll ever experience. 

There is something so uniquely beautiful about the way women love each other. Unlike many romantic loves, my female friendships don’t rely on performance or grand gestures. They are built on intuition, and nurtured in unspoken moments. These relationships blossom because they are rooted in knowing each other without needing an explanation. There is no way to measure the beauty of a love where those around you have seen you when your cheeks hurt from smiling or when tears streak through your makeup, yet there is no judgement. In rooms filled with women who have offered so many lifelines, late night phone calls, tears, and laughter, it is hard to feel unloved. 

However, no one warns you about the heartbreak of female friendships. The emotional intensity that so often accompanies them can bubble over in way that cuts just as deep as romantic relationships. The closeness of female friendships is breathtaking, but it can also bring misunderstandings and feelings of betrayal. When every part of two lives is shared so fully, withholding even the smallest detail can feel like a violation of trust, and unmet expectations can lead to an overwhelming sense of hurt. Unlike romantic issues, there is no set guidelines on how to heal. There are no breakup songs, no sweatshirts to throw away, no love letters to grieve over. However, women have such a powerful way of accepting each other despite flaws, and it is this forgiveness that makes female friendships so beautiful and unique. 

As we grow, so do our friendships. Women have an incredible way of evolving relationships alongside themselves, whether it’s by making them stronger or learning how to support each other from a distance. These friendships last because they adapt, creating space to grow and change alongside each other rather than resisting it. Female friendships are messy and complicated, and sometimes painful, but they are also some of the most powerful relationships, as they prove what a blessing it is to be truly known by someone. 

This year, for the first time I can remember, I felt actual excitement for Valentine’s Day. Last year, being single for the holiday was the first time I ever truly embraced it. Surrounded by love that had nothing to do with romance, I found happiness in celebrating the people who were always there. While my situation has changed this year, the excitement hasn’t. I adored my celebration with my boyfriend. He did all the things I once viewed as a performance in a way that made me see them as genuine love; however, it wouldn’t be the holiday I’ve come to love without setting aside time for the women who have been by my side through everything. Sharing a brunch with some of my best friends earlier last week and carrying on the tradition of chocolate covered strawberries and heart-shaped pizzas with some of the most incredible and important women in my life are the kinds of love I can’t imagine the holiday without. This Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be the same without all the women who make me stronger, inspire me to grow, and make me feel overwhelmingly loved, and I couldn’t be more thankful to celebrate with them.